Today's Liberal News

Aldous J Pennyfarthing

Marjorie Taylor Greene thinks U.S. soldiers are suckers who are ‘throwing their lives away’

For many of us, “throwing your life away” might look like refusing a safe and effective vaccine that keeps your lungs from turning into turbid sacks of wet cement. But Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene has other ideas. To her way of thinking, military service really is for losers and suckers.

In an April 9 interview with once-and-future DJT rectal parasite Lou Dobbs, Greene disparaged our military, concluding that joining the U.S.

Former Pence aide: Trump adviser tried to get VP to attend white supremacist gathering

Richard Grenell was a terrible choice for acting director of national intelligence—which is precisely why Donald Trump chose him. It’s like when Trump is rudely confronted with a salad bar and has to choose between piling fresh greens on his plate or bobbing for stray croutons in the ranch dressing trough. His squishy id will wail like a toddler until he picks the most immediately gratifying option.

In the case of Grenell, Trump liked the way he looked on the teevee.

Rep. Ronny Jackson, the ex-White House doc who praised Trump’s ‘good genes,’ is under investigation

The GOP’s crack team of doctors (sorry, “quack” team—damn you, autocorrect!) includes such luminaries as Mehmet Oz, Ben Carson, Scott Atlas, and Ronny Jackson, the dude who turned a slovenly heap of fly-pocked Crisco into a Greek Adonis through the magic of barmy bullsh*t.

Now Jackson, who leveraged his unique proximity to Donald Trump’s eminently unkissable bum into a congressional seat, is under investigation by the House Ethics Committee.

DeSantis delayed records request involving Florida official tied to Gaetz sex-trafficking probe

For a law-and-order party, Republicans don’t seem all that interested in actual laws. At least not the ones that apply to them. They may believe the world is safer from loose cigarettes and indiscriminate hoodie-wearing, but open government corruption? Meh.

For example, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis appears to be modeling his administration after the serial lawlessness of the Trump cabal, whose lodestar has always been Vladimir Putin.

Ted Cruz caught chasing Twitter clout after abusing Judge Jackson—and his GOP pals were no better

The GOP is no longer a serious political party. It’s a vaudeville show, and all they care about these days is performing. Not performing good deeds, mind you. Just performing. And the top clowns were all feeling their oats on Wednesday. 

Whether he’s concocting ad hoc reasons for flying to Cancun during a deadly deep freeze or insisting there really is candy in the back of his windowless white van, it’s safe to say that Sen. Ted Cruz can rarely be trusted.

Right Side Broadcasting Network throws fit after YouTube mutes its channel ahead of Trump rally

Donald Trump’s Hitler Goof rallies have been drawing less and less interest lately, in part because windmill cancer has tragically taken so many of his rural devotees and also because Fox News no longer sees any benefit to broadcasting them. And why would they? His shtick never changes. It’s like watching a throng of mutant space orangutans break into a flash-orgy on the veranda of your local Olive Garden.

Kentucky Democrat makes impassioned plea in defense of reproductive rights. You need to see this

Let’s see: In the past few years, Republicans have hitched themselves to Vladimir Putin, violent insurrectionists who tried to overthrow the legitimate government of the United States, a sore-loser campaign to undermine democracy, a former president who stole boxes of classified information from the White House and called a murderous tyrant a savvy genius, and a cruel campaign to gut  (particularly poor and vulnerable) people’s reproductive freedoms.

Even Republicans are pointing out that Madison Cawthorn’s anti-Ukraine rants are a bad look

On Thursday, the House voted 424-8 to suspend normal trade relations with Russia in the wake of Vladimir Putin’s unprovoked war of aggression against Ukraine. Congress rarely achieves that kind of consensus on anything, unless the vote is for not telling Ted Cruz about the weekly after-work happy hour, but Ukraine’s plight has united Americans—on both sides of the aisle—like nothing else in years.

‘They can row home’: Russian oligarch’s yacht is stranded because Norwegians refuse to refuel it

Vladimir Putin’s fatal error was assuming everyone in the United States was as weak, venal, oafish, and self-aggrandizing as Donald Trump, when in reality no more than half of us are. Of course, if you’d spent more time around Trump and Steven Seagal than with almost any other American, you’d probably think you could buy off the country for a G.I. Joe Cobra kimono and a jumbo tub of Cool Ranch-flavored Crisco.

Rep. Elise Stefanik wants to fight for kids’ ‘right to choose’ chocolate milk at school. No, really

New York Rep. Elise Stefanik—the third-ranking Republican in the U.S. House of Representatives—has at last captured the national zeitgeist! Americans aren’t worried about Ukraine, the economy, creeping fascism here and abroad, COVID-19, or any of the other stories the lamestream media keep pushing. The brutal truth is that most people are concerned about the continued availability of calorie-dense refined sugar in schools!

Seriously.

Missouri radio station continues to air literal Russian war propaganda

Before Vladimir Putin decided it was a swell idea to take his mass murdering to the next level, you almost had to squint to see the traitorous stains who walked among us. But the “savvy genius” who got hopelessly bogged down in Ukraine in less time than it takes Donald Trump to get his head stuck in a jumbo jar of Nutella shined a black light on some of our seedier nooks and crannies and—lo and behold!—looks like treason was the reason for the appeasin’.

‘People’s Convoy’ zealot goes full road rage, punches innocent D.C. commuter’s window

Well, if I were driving around in circles all day to protest pandemic mandates that have largely been rescinded, I might get pretty frustrated, too. Troop TruckNutz—aka the “People’s Convoy”—has been doing God knows what on the D.C. Beltway lately, for reasons known only to them. And it’s started to get pretty pathetic, frankly.

It would be one thing if they were harassing and endangering commuters for an absurd reason—i.e.

Sad! Even TrumpWorld seems uninterested in Trump’s new Truth Social app

Donald Trump’s Truth Social—the plucky startup that aims to disrupt the social media space in the same way Trump Steaks transformed how Americans befouled their colons—is soaring on gossamer wings straight into a comically large bug zapper.

It’s difficult to fathom how anyone trusts Trump in any arena these days, much less in business. He’s arguably a worse businessman than he was a president, and he was a worse president than a human being.

Even Russian state TV appears to be souring on Putin’s war

Okay, so you may have read that headline and thought, “What? Tucker Carlson is finally souring on Putin’s war?” Oh, no. Don’t worry. It’s not like we’ve entered Bizarro World or anything. No, we’re simply at the stage in Vladimir Putin’s career when Russian state TV is obliquely questioning its supreme leader’s infallible judgment. Normal stuff. No biggie.

Hannity offers some strategic advice for NATO in Ukraine and it might be worse than you’d expect

Generalissimo Sean Hannity, the high commander for war strategy at Fox News, has an idea that will end the war! Erm, sorry—I meant “world.” Those two words sound so similar. 

Anyone with any sense of history knows that the last thing President Joe Biden can do is send the U.S. military into Ukraine while Russia conducts its war of aggression. Nor can NATO—which includes three nuclear powers—get involved.

Righteous keyboard warriors are using social media platforms to counter Russian war propaganda

Ukrainians are fighting for their fledgling democracy and independence, but this fight is bigger than just one country. In a very real sense, they’re fighting for us and for everyone on the planet who loves democracy and hates autocracy. Contrary to the traitorous whining of the Putin-appeasing GOP, President Biden has been a rock throughout this crisis, assembling a coalition that’s brought the hammer down on Putin’s economy and left his long-term plans in cinders.

Hillary joins Rachel Maddow to discuss Ukraine and make us wish she’d been president

Sometimes I wonder what might have happened had Jim Comey kept his mouth shut prior to the 2016 election, and if Hillary Clinton were now in the second year of her second term. The House hearings on Mr. Potato Head would have been something, I’m sure. That said, it’s hard to believe we’d be in the position we’re in now, after four years of nearly unrestrained GOP Putin-enabling led by the li’l Russian marionette himself.

Marco Rubio proves he’s Trump’s pup with astonishingly hypocritical take on classified docs

The most shocking part about this story isn’t Marco Rubio’s hypocrisy. That’s a given, like Donald Trump’s slovenly ineptitude or early summer squalls that drop hailstones the size of Louie Gohmert’s head. No, the truly surprising part is that his hypocrisy was so incandescent it actually drew flak from Fox News.

Donald Trump has apparently run afoul of the law—again.

Lauren ‘Boebart’ gleefully accepts crass, sexist award, complete with a Red Lobster gift card

Everything about the image is perfect—in a way. If Donald Trump ever achieves his longstanding goal of turning America into a giant kleptocratic Chuck E. Cheese, this will be the new flag of Colorado—in honor of the state’s governor-for-life, Lauren J. “Le Petomane” Boebert.

It’s a perfect snapshot of America in the Year of Our Lord 2022. A crass deference to shallow values and superficial virtues? Check.

Trump Social stock plummets following app delay, Melania signs with Parler

Eventually Donald Trump has to run out of marks, right? This feels like if Mussolini had escaped at the end of World War II and started selling knockoff Avon products out of the back of his van. Hey, Wall Street investors! Donald Trump is a grifter! If you want to invest in social media, you’d be better off using your savings to buy more MySpace friends. At least that platform actually exists, unlike the ocher oaf’s newest scam, Truth Social.