Ted Cruz still appears to think he’ll be president one day
Oh, hey, Ted Cruz still wants to be president! Of course he does. The “breaking” part of this news is that he still seems to think it’s possible. Though, to be fair, Ted did snag a lot of primary votes in 2016—and that was before the beard. Imagine the mojo he’s got workin’ now!
Of course, Ted is universally loathed among warm-blooded vertebrates, so he’s forced to run as a Republican.





























