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I wouldn’t be here—in America, or inside my nervous system as it’s currently constituted—without American music.
That’s no exaggeration. As a metalheaded, punk-rock-obsessed, hip-hop-curious English teenager, I projected my mind toward America. The music summoned me: I couldn’t wait to be around it.
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Dear James,
I’m a stepdad who wants nothing more than to be a good father to my stepson.
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Dear James,
Every Thursday for the past decade, I’ve sat with the same group of guys for a beer after work. I don’t think any of them has changed a bit in 10 years. Nothing.
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Could be the weather, could be the news, could be the state of my digestion, but right now I’m in the mood for a proper American poet-buffoon.
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Dear James,
I’ve been married to my husband for 35 years. He is 88 and I’m 79. I was in love with him during our courtship.
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Dear James,
My late mother’s second husband was pretty mean and made no bones about disliking me in his heyday.
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Dear James,
I can’t seem to shut up at work, and I keep putting my foot in my mouth.
I am a naturally brusque person—a get-to-the-point kinda gal—but I am not a complete boor.
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Dear James,
I’ve been a lifelong participant in various recreational sports. Candidly, I’m not a great athlete, but I’ve always been enthusiastic.
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Dear James,
I’m a 20-year-old dealing with a string of terrible events. My estranged mother died in a car accident a few days ago.
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Editor’s Note: Is anything ailing, torturing, or nagging at you? Are you beset by existential worries? Every Tuesday, James Parker tackles readers’ questions. Tell him about your lifelong or in-the-moment problems at dearjames@theatlantic.com.
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Dear James,
I’m not very punk rock. Not even a little. I’m well into middle age and experiencing my first taste of the many small indignities sure to come.
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Dear James,
I have stage fright. I’ve had it since I was a little kid trying to perform at elementary-school talent shows.
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Dear James,
I’ve been married to the best guy for almost 14 years. He is an awesome dad to our wild boys, makes exceptional burgers, and is weirdly fun to watch TV with.
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Dear James,
Why, even when reading a book that I’m thoroughly enjoying, do I always seem to want to finish it?
Dear Reader,
This is a fascinating question.
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Dear James,
For all intents and purposes, at age 47, I’m in the best shape of my life. In June 2022, I entered into a wonderful relationship with my current partner.
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Dear James,
My best friend has been married to her husband for nearly 10 years, and it’s fair to say that their sex life is dead.
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Dear James,
I’m a man in a relationship with a woman I met on Hinge a little over a year ago (we’re both in our early 30s), and things have been absolutely great.
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Dear James,
I’ve been reading a lot lately about the long-term effects, mental and physical, of regular alcohol use.
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Dear James,
I’m 27 years old, I live in New York, and I’m in a healthy, loving relationship with a guy I met here.
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Editor’s Note: Is anything ailing, torturing, or nagging at you? Are you beset by existential worries? Every Tuesday, James Parker tackles readers’ questions. Tell him about your lifelong or in-the-moment problems at dearjames@theatlantic.com.
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Editor’s Note: Is anything ailing, torturing, or nagging at you? Are you beset by existential worries? Every Tuesday, James Parker tackles readers’ questions. Tell him about your lifelong or in-the-moment problems at dearjames@theatlantic.com.
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Dear James,
I’m a 73-old-woman who has been dating a man of the same age.
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Dear James,
I’m typically quiet and mind my own business. But in recent weeks, I’ve been having conflicts with people over minor things. Just today, I got yelled at twice.
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Dear James,
I have a group of friends who used to work together, and our friendship has happily continued even though we’re no longer at the same company.
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Dear James,
A few months ago, I came out to my high-school friend group as bisexual. They were supportive and appreciated my request to keep it on the down-low.
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Dear James,
I’ve never been an anxious person. However, since the election, I’ve been experiencing what I imagine are anxiety attacks.
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Dear James,
Unless there is money attached or a truly significant deadline (impending wedding, house sale, moving van arriving), I never seem to complete what I begin.
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Dear James,
I’m in a strange situation of seeming basically like an extrovert but feeling quite lonely.
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